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  • S. Dawn Olatokun

Living In A False Reality...

Ladies, this is a rough topic so I’m just going to rip the bandaid off to save us some time. If you haven't addressed your trauma you are living in a false reality….OUCH! I tried to look up definitions for false reality but couldn’t find anything solid. From the bits and pieces I did find, there was one word that stood out to me...MISLEADING!. Living a life that is misleading! But misleading to whom? Does this mean that the person who experienced the trauma is being misled by what they experienced? Aaaaaaabsolutely!





We all know what we have personally experienced due to trauma. The guilt, shame, resentment, unforgiveness, self condemnation, and even suicidal thoughts were both real and justified. Making rational decisions while in these frames of mind is almost impossible. Most of the decisions we made while heightened emotionally  were not based on logic but based on temporary emotions. We’ve made temporary emotions a permanent way of living which led us to live in a false or misleading reality. I can think of so many situations I placed myself in because I was being misled by a false reality. Can you? I really want you to stop here and think of times when you made decisions based on what you considered to be true, due to what you experienced.


The tricky thing about living in a false reality is after a while is you’re just living off of ; Crying everytime you think about it, your chest getting hot whenever you see the person, not liking a particular food because it reminds you of the trauma, or not being as interested in dating because you have been hurt so much. These are all signs of living in a false reality. It is possible to LIVE through the experience and not become the sum total of the experience! Here are some ways we can get out of the false reality mind set...


  • Confront the trauma - Accept the fact that it happened. This may not be easy to do alone. If you have someone you trust, share it with them or seek out a therapist to help you unpack what you experienced.

  • Do not let the Trauma define you - The trauma changed who you are, it changed me too! Experiencing trauma made me love harder, trust and forgive more! Since I experienced so much hurt, I refused to hold on to any memories of it.

  • Redefine who you are - You are amazing, loved, bold, and worthy to be healed and whole. Hold on to that while you continue to learn the NEW you!

If you have any questions or would like to chat about this topic, please feel free to leave comments!


Let’s make some Pure Moves towards our healing!


Hope to spend time with you again! The next blog will be about healthy coping strategies!

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